Phobias

Am I alone in this or do you cringe when you hear "eating sounds"?

When I hear co-workers or anyone else slop their way through soup or crunch through an apple or carrot, my stomach does a back flip.

It's worse when I hear it in the media. There's a commercial on TV featuring a dog slobbering and crunching it's way through the ad... I have to turn the channel.

Oh I'm okay when I'm the one doing the slobbering and crunching... that could be part of my weight situation... after I got into Herbal One and dropped 35 or 40 pounds, at least I'm working my way through fruit and veggies (particularly crunchy and mouth watering).

Anyway, it's my phobia... next to snakes, pierced tongues, self inflicted tattoos and heights.

I'm sure I have others... but I'm hungry and I have an apple and a bowl of Oatmeal Crisp staring me in the face.

Lost

I'm lost.

Well, actually I'm a Lost fanatic.

Alright, I admit it...I can't go through a week without my dose of TV's wacked out science fiction (or is it?) series. It's my hour-long getaway from anything rational.

I stumbled across the series' pilot when it was first shown... I wasn't planning on it. In fact, I was looking for something else when there it was in all its wierd glory.

Jack, Kate, Sawyer and all the rest caught up, after a plane crash, on the island that has a life of its own.

If you've been a "Lost follower" (not the 70's Peterborough bar band, although with a few beers they were good escapism too) then you'll know that the whole mixed up mess involves time travel.

I'm still anxious to find out the story behind the smoke monster.... if you don't watch, it's kind of like a 3-pack a day mother of five trying to quit... only not as bitchy.

Anyway the show involves great scenery, good acting and fine writing (although I'm not sure what THEY'VE been smoking, some episodes). And it reminds me that in a sea of reality shows, there's still something entertaining to watch.

And how many of us haven't wondered what it'd be like to find ourselves stranded on an island in the south Pacific like modern day Robinson Crusoes, only with enough others (in this case, "Others") to start our own little fiefdom.

The only thing I'd miss is my weekly dose of "Lost".

Halloween Herb

The stock market's on a roller coaster ride and so are my extra couple of pounds.. this week they're gone, next week they're back... I blame my addiction to chocolate.

Y'see I've had this sweet tooth, especially for chocolate, since my first Baby Ruth which I ate too long ago to remember the full mouth-watering experience.

Already I'm salivating.

Halloween is a tough time for me. We don't get many trick or treaters at our house but we always over buy, just in case. The houses in my neighbourhood are spread out too much and the driveways are too long.

When you're kid tring to fill the loot bag, time is of the essence. Driveways need to be no more than 20 metres and the distance between each front door should be no more than 30 seconds... 45 at most.

But we buy too many chocolate bars and Hershey Kisses in case some kid who doesn't know about the loot collection rules strays onto the property.

When that happens, I don't feel sorry for the little princess or pirate.. they get one thing and one thing only. I'm saving them from an obese future.

So what am I gonna do with the left-overs?? Oops, gotta go...it's time for my weekly butt-kick, er, weigh-in.

Herbivore

Honest to goodness I thought I'd end up putting on at least ten pounds over Thanksgiving.

I guess the Herbal One plan has been drilled into me pretty good because I actually pushed myself away from the table (not kicking and screaming...I did it on my own).

Nothing I like better than a festive meal... turkey, all the trimmings, pumpkin pie and whatever else I can find.

But it came down to smaller portions, which is what I've learned to do over these past few months. I went in for my weekly weigh-in after Thanksgiving and I was down a couple of pounds from the previous week.

Somehow I felt I let my Thanksgiving traditions down. But maybe I'm starting a new tradition... my arteries sure like this one, anyway.

So it's steady as she goes. Now I'm gearing up for Christmas. Oh God did I just say Christmas?

Herbal-go-Round

I've found another way to lose weight.. I'm pretty sure the nice people at Herbal One won't recommend it.

Y'see my wife and I took our grandchildren (girl 6, boy 2) to the Lindsay Ex. Of course the midway is a big item on the "must-do" list. Keep in mind that I don't even go up a ladder very well, let alone go around in circles at break-neck speed.

So there we were, my grandaughter and I, buckled into the "Tilt-a-barf". Not wanting to show my fear I put on my brave face and so we went round and round, up and down, back and forth... oh golly it was so much fun (tongue firmly planted in cheek).

You've gotta understand... I'm a sucker for Fair Food. Ice cream cones, something that resembles a hot dog, other indescribible stuff that packs on at least a thousand calories each and wallows in some sort of fat.

A trip on the "Whirl 'n hurl" will cut that enjoyment short. I couldn't eat a thing.

Thus I was able to stick to Herbal One with no temptations whatsoever.

The girls in the office are proud...as they snicker behind my back.

Herbalopalooza

So I'm having trouble sticking to my goal weight of 171 pounds... up 3, down 3, up 2, down 2... it ain't the fault of the Herbal One folks who offer me encouragement.

I'm thinking they're gonna sit me in the corner with a dunce cap soon, altough I'm sure they're too nice. Maybe they shouldn't be that nice.

Weekends are my biggest problem... every time I'm invited out for dinner and the hostess says "...here finish this off"... I'm like a little lap dog goin' "yup, yup give it to me, give it to me"

Okay... I'm refusing that second helping... I've refilled the tires of my stationary bike... I've reaquainted myself with the Bowflex... now I'm walking toward the exercise area of my home... walking... walking... walking... staring... climbing on board... this'll do it... Herb'll be proud.

Herbalympics

40 pounds(almost) and 54-inches.

Sounds like a sporting event but it's just little ol' me getting smaller. See, I'm also getting on and preparing for old age when we all shrink somewhat.

Actually it's a good thing...feeling better, lookin' better (if I do say so myself).

I'm having trouble getting rid of that last pound or so... maybe I'm pregnant. I've been retaining water or something. Certainly my body doesn't want to let that final little bit go...

I'll keep working on it and I'll let you know.

Meantime if you want to lose a few (it's good preparation for Thanksgiving and Christmas eating) call Herbal One in Peterborough or Cobourg. They'll look after you.

Ciao (chow) for now
Ric Johnson